RESTED
INVESTED
TESTED
BESTED
BLESTED
These five words came to me on Tuesday morning, the first day A went back to school and K to Mother's Morning Out. There were literally four days - four weeks probably - worth of things I needed to do in my "free" time between dropping K off and picking her up. This was my chance to go do all those things that make me a "good mom": clean the basement of my mother's house (where we're living while we do some renovations), clean the kids' room upstairs, do the laundry, go to the grocery store, plan for a healthy dinner everyone would be happy to eat, have a great snack waiting for A when he got off the bus, pick up a pedestal sink from Southern Surplus, go to Home Depot to get the grout Lowe's didn't have, clean out the attic, clean out the garage, put together some storage shelves, finally make a decision on paint colors, make sure all the accounting for the project is where it needs to be, clean out my car, get the oil changed, exercise, wash AND dry my hair, put on something decent, clean off those plastic cars in the yard I need to take to the Consignment Sale, and on and on ...
But all I wanted to do was go to sleep. To take a nap at 9:30 in the morning and wake up at 12:30, just in time to go get K. And I felt awful about that, like a "bad mom" and a "bad wife". Everyone else was up and at school, or work, or wherever - not sleeping. What was wrong with me?
That's when the Five Words came to me. Well, the first two came first: rested and invested.
What God said to me in my mother-guilted moment was "The very best thing you can do for your children is to be rested so that you can be invested in them. Nothing else matters. That's what makes you a good mom. You provide a home and environment that is restful - a sanctuary - for them and Chris. When they come home, they rest. You don't. This IS your time to rest so that you can be ready to be invested in them when they come home. The most important thing that gives them peace and rest is for you to be fully rested - not exhausted - so you can be present with them. A clean house with folded laundry and a grumpy, worn out mom misses the point."
That made a lot of sense to me. I've always had this nagging question about when exactly it is that I get off work? When do I stop tending to someone in one way or another? It seems like it is only when I'm asleep. And that's exhausting.
I've had a sneaking suspicion that motherhood is shift work where the same person works all the shifts.
This is not a slight to Chris. He does a lot to help with the children. But as soon as he helps with them, I felt like I need to go tend to the rest of my list. And honestly, once they're in bed, I feel like it's my time to tend to him, not to ignore him and rest. It's the only alone time I have with him.
RESTED
INVESTED
So, I took at nap. I tried to, but of course my head was spinning, and God reminded me that rest and sleep are not the same thing. So I read a book - for pleasure - until I got tired enough to fall asleep. And I slept until 12:30, just in time to go get K.
I still felt a little guilty, but I think I understood for the first time how important MY rest is to my being able to be meaningfully invested, in anything. I could see how rest has to come first, for if it doesn't everything else - no matter how important - is compromised. As a stay-at-home mom of two young children, my rest may have to come when other people are usually working. And that is okay. That is not lazy. That's taking care of my family.
I can't help but think of the weekly Sabbath prescription, the seventh-year fallow fields and forgiveness of debts, and the 50th year jubilee. It's all right there. Not only a weekly day of rest. But entire years of rest on regular cycles. This has been a part of human design since we were designed.
And even God rested. GOD rested. GOD. RESTED.
Yet, we've evolved into a culture that values everything but rest. Where have we gotten this idea that we don't fundamentally need rest - not only sleep - like we need food and water and social interaction?
We look down on the Spanish for their siestas. What turn our noses up at the French for actually taking several weeks off for summer holiday. The Scandinavians for year-long maternity leave. And don't get us started on paternity leave.
We are offended by their wasteful rest.
RESTED
INVESTED
Then the next two words came
TESTED
BESTED
It is not only for the purpose of being invested that we must rest. Life guarantees challenges and hardships. There is no way out of that for anyone, regardless of good behavior or spiritual discipline. And when those times come, when we are tested, we will lose if we are not rested. We will be bested. We will get sick. Our bodies will not be able to defend themselves. Our relationships will be compromised. And eventually, our character and our moral compass won't have the fuel to remain true.
So rest is also a weapon, probably the best general one we have for the trials life will bring our way - physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.
Then BLESTED. I think God has a sense of humor and couldn't resist the rhyme. BLESTED. What a great word. Rest is the root of blessing. From our rest - ultimately in Him, we not only bless but are blessed.
The little in-between words are variable. But here's where I ended up.
You must be
RESTED
to be
INVESTED
and when you're
TESTED
you won't be
BESTED
but your life, and those around you, will be
BLESTED
May God bless each of you today with guilt-free rest, whatever time of day it may come.
